Eye of the Beholder

Hey hey hey hey hey hey.

I’ve been reading the statistics of people who have been looking into my posts. It seems that 42 people expected an update on Monday the 1st of October, which never happened. There’s a fact for you.

Unfortunately this evening I lost my iPhone, which held a lot of pictures of my past week.. So in the mean time I’ll throw in some pictures that were very similar to what I experienced.

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Last time we spoke I was just about to begin the working part of my trip. I had a day with the Canal tour company, and a day with one of the sightseeing hop on, hop off tour bus companies. The day with the busses was filled with excitement, action, and awe inspiring arguments.

There are a few different companies who offer these city sight tours around Copenhagen, and a main point where they can potentially pick up a lot of clients is at the cruise ship terminal. Both businesses compete for the customers as they literally step off their cruise ship. It was a classic match up- our crew, the Hop on/Hop off team VS the opposing company- Step on/Step off. A clash of the titans. Two squads enter, one squad leaves. Really character building stuff.

At around the three quarter time mark, we had filled 5 busses with happy tourists, whereas the steppers had only done 1 and a half. Finally, one of their team fired up. His name was Samesh- a Pakistani fellow who’d had enough of tasting defeat. He approached our main man, Akbar (also from Pakistan) and gave it to him with a torrent of Punjabi. Words were flying out of his mouth. Akbar, cool as ice, stood there silent, with his arms crossed, and a slight smirk. This is what he lived for. Akbar knew that any remaining customers would stay well away from Samesh and his team, the victory was sealed. Joey, then appeared out of no where with Scandinavian energy drinks with the money he’d made in tips for our whole crew, and it was a bit like a pepsi ad after that. Akbar told me later on, he was very pleased to have ruined Samesh’s day, for he was a bad man. Akbar could have told me anything and i probably would have agreed.

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The next few days I spent in Malmo, Sweden. There was a Travel Fair on, and I was based with a tour bus company. Because I spoke neither Danish, nor Swedish, it was my job to ensure that everyone who walked past had sufficient candy. The fair itself was great- a mechanical bull was directly opposite my stand which gave me hours of viewing pleasure. Those Swedish chicks aren’t the cowgirls they thought they’d be. On the final night of the Travel Fair, I went with some of the people from the bus company I’d been working with to a bowling and burger bar. I found myself in one of those situations where everyone was speaking different languages and I zoned out on the way, all I understood was “Wonderful Burger” – I knew everything was gunna be okay.

The following day I met up with the legendary Al Foster for a couple of beers at a law school party in the city. It had been a long afternoon- I’d been sitting in the Hard Rock Café Copenhagen for the last few hours enjoying their two-for-one specials by myself, looking at some amazing instruments (Eddie Van Halen’s Guitar, Lars Urlich’s Drum Kit, Clapton’s rainbow SG) and listening to the “500 greatest guitar solos of all time”. This was followed by the uni party where bottles of Carlsberg were under $2AUD. The plan was to have a few casual bevs, go home, have a nice kip, and be up at 5:30am for the Grand Final at The Southern Cross Bar. Turns out I didn’t make it home that night, however I was up in time for the footy with some very stereo typical Aussies you’d see at such an event. There were even the obvious Amuricans trying to learn the rules very loudly, and dropping lines like “They don’t go to the game, they go to war!” and “Oh-rah”. Made me wish I was at Forster Street.

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After I had recovered, I was ready for a tour up North to the Louisiana Modern Art Museum, and some epic Danish Castles. Louisiana was great, they had some famous works there. Like a self portrait of a lady with a monobrow and a monkey. I’m sure it meant something to some art lovers, but to me it was just a lady who needed a face shave. I got hustled when I tried to take a photo, but I did get one. The castles were also quite amazing. Moats, flag, statues, moats, and great moats. Was unhappy to find out there weren’t any crocodiles in the moats. Once again, I will upload the real photos in a day or so, but these pictures are very similar to the castles I saw.

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I just wrote 855 words in less than 20 minutes, and it wasn’t even painful. Why could I never do that in school?

Someone please answer me that.

I miss everyone, and this guy especially:

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Peace, Love and Etc.

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